|
Q: Are black squirrels a separate
species of squirrel?
A: Why
would that matter to you? |
Q: I read somewhere that
squirrels are very forgetful. Is that true?
A: Is what true?
(I'm just
kidding. I'm really a hamster - we have great memories.) |
|
Q: Are squirrels secretly
infiltrating parts of the Human government?
A: If the SIB give any answer, then it wouldn't
be a secret.
|
Q: Did the black squirrels assassinate
President Kennedy?
A: While
several squirrels were in the area of the Grassy Knoll when the shooting
occurred, it is highly unlikely any of them were strong enough to hold a
rifle - let alone pull the trigger.
That's their story. Next
question. |
|
Q: Aren't squirrels just stupid tree
rats?
A: Squirrels despise being called "Tree
Rats" because rats have skinny, thinly-furred, inexpressive tails.
|
Q: Don't squirrels need Humans
to take care of them?
A: NO! The best thing Humans can do for squirrels
is leave them alone! If you find an orphaned or injured
squirrel, contact a Human trained and experienced in the care of
squirrels. This will give the victim the best chance of recovery and
eventual reintroduction into squirrel society, though problems with
communication can be expected if an orphan has never been around other
squirrels.
|
|
Q: Are iguanas attracted to red
squirrels like they are attracted to red-haired Humans?
A: The
executive branch has officially declared that red squirrels do not exist.
Also, eating Human hair may cause fatal
hairballs.
|
Q: Do squirrels deliberately
cause traffic accidents?
A: Only in car
insurance commercials and in the imaginations of
possibly insane Humans.
No squirrel wants to die from being hit by a car. Humans just have very slow
reaction times. |
|
Q: Do hamsters "speak" for the SIB and/or other
squirrels?
A: The SIB "speak"
for themselves! |
Q: Is this whole website created by a hamster?
A:
There was a mouse (Meek) and another hamster
(Checker)
who originally typed most of this site, but they no longer live. I am now
in charge of typing, however all of the information
on this site has been provided by the SIB. |
|
Q: Are squirrels enslaving hamsters and mice?
A: Hamsters as slaves...are you
serious?
|
Q: Are the SIB and other squirrels out to rule the
world?
A: They already do! (Just kidding- the Agents always laugh at that one.)
Living creatures
cannot control the world because the world controls all living creatures. |
